Women know all too well what it's like to be in a workplace where respect is sometimes given based on your sex, but it took one guy doing an unexpected email experiment with his female co-worker to truly understand it. Martin R. Schneider, an editor for the movie-reviewing site Front Row Central, tweeted about his eye-opening experience [1] at a previous company when he signed off on emails using his female co-worker's signature.
"I was in hell. Everything I asked or suggested was questioned. Clients I could do in my sleep were condescending. One asked if I was single," he wrote. His story has gone viral on social media because of its accurate description of what many women deal with on a regular that their male co-workers might not even notice. Read his experience in full ahead.
So here's a little story of the time @nickyknacks [3] taught me how impossible it is for professional women to get the respect they deserve:
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [4]
Nicole and I worked for a small employment service firm and one complaint always came from our boss: She took too long to work with clients.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [5]
As her supervisor, I considered this a minor nuisance at best. I figured the reason I got things done faster was from having more experience
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [6]
But I got stuck monitoring her time and nagging her on the boss' behalf. We both hated it and she tried so hard to speed up with good work.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [7]
So one day I'm emailing a client back-and-forth about his resume and he is just being IMPOSSIBLE. Rude, dismissive, ignoring my questions.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [8]
Telling me his methods were the industry standards (they weren't) and I couldn't understand the terms he used (I could).
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [9]
Anyway I was getting sick of his shit when I noticed something.
Thanks to our shared inbox, I'd been signing all communications as "Nicole"— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [10]
It was Nicole he was being rude to, not me. So out of curiosity I said "Hey this is Martin, I'm taking over this project for Nicole."
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [11]
IMMEDIATE IMPROVEMENT. Positive reception, thanking me for suggestions, responds promptly, saying "great questions!" Became a model client.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [12]
Note: My technique and advice never changed. The only difference was that I had a man's name now.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [13]
So I asked Nicole if this happened all the time. Her response: "I mean, not ALL the time... but yeah. A lot."
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [14]
We did an experiment: For two weeks we switched names. I signed all client emails as Nicole. She signed as me.
Folks. It fucking sucked.— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [15]
I was in hell. Everything I asked or suggested was questioned. Clients I could do in my sleep were condescending. One asked if I was single.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [16]
Nicole had the most productive week of her career.
I realized the reason she took longer is bc she had to convince clients to respect her.— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [17]
I wasn't any better at the job than she was, I just had this invisible advantage.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [18]
I showed the boss and he didn't buy it. I told him that was fine, but I was never critiquing her speed with clients again.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [19]
Here's the real fucked-up thing: For me, this was shocking. For her, she was USED to it. She just figured it was part of her job.
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [20]
(I mean, she knew she was being treated different for being a woman, she's not dumb. She just took it in stride.)
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [21]
Anyway, I'm bad at knowing when to end Twitter threads, but. Yeah. Fucked up, right?
— Martin R. Schneider (@SchneidRemarks) March 9, 2017 [22]